We're Paper Pregnant!

Ok, so yes, that is a somewhat dorky term, but I figured I should just go with the usual adoption lingo even though Damien makes fun of me when I say it. :-) We got an email from our agency saying that our home study packet was sent to Korea today! So as of today, 7/13/09, we are officially 'waiting' for a referral. Our program coordinator said that referrals are taking about 6 months right now. And although that seems like such a long time, especially since the paper-chasing part took us about 9 1/2 months when it should really take 5 or 6 at the very longest, 6 months waiting for a referral is incredibly short. If you look at referral times for other countries once your paperwork is sent to the country is at least 10 months and can be to almost 3 1/2 years for palaces like China. In some countries, the government is the one who processes adoption, but in some countries it is non-profit agencies. Korea is this way. There are 4 agencies in Korea and each US adoption agency has to work with one of those 4 agencies (it can only work with one). One of the great things about our agency is that is that the agency in Korea that it works with is a smaller agency (it is called Social Welfare Society) and there are only two other US adoption agencies which can place children through SWS. Because of this, our wait time for a referral is shorter. If you use one of the larger US agencies who partner with one of the larger Korea agencies, they quote you 12 months at the soonest for a referral and some up to almost two years. In some ways I wish we had found this agency sooner because we'd probably have a referral by now (click here to read about how/when we found them) but I know that God has the perfect child for us and this is the way He wanted it to be.

I put one of those little tickers on the right column to count the days from now until we receive our referral. Damien and I decided that we're going to just try to forget (as much as possible) that we are waiting. If we talk about it, we just get excited which only makes the wait harder. We won't think about names until we have a referral and I don't think I'll prepare the house in any way until then as well. Especially since we don't know how old she will be. She could come home sometime between 8 and 24 months old which makes a big difference. We will still have at least 3 months from referral before we travel which is plenty of time to get ready. Although I couldn't resist picking up a few really cute 18 & 24 month Gymboree outfits from the boutique the other day. I can't pass up cute free clothes!

Obviously we're really excited today because our paperwork was mailed, but I know the excitement will die down soon. I sort of feel like we've been trying to get pregnant for 10 months and I just took a pregnancy test that was positive. You know there is a baby in there but it doesn't seem real. Your tummy isn't any bigger, you can't feel the baby or see it, but you know that it exists. And when you think that it's going to be 8 months until it's born it seems like an eternity. Because we are open to certain special needs, it is possible that it could be sooner than 6 months for a referral, but it could also still be 6 months so that is what we are trying to expect.

One thing I'm going to do tomorrow is look for a local adoption Doctor. There are actually Doctors that specialize in treating Internationally adopted children. Since these children often come home with unusual things (at least unusual to the US) such as parasites, developmental delays, etc., adoption agencies strongly suggest that the first thing you do when you bring your child home is to bring them to an International adoption Doc. It is also very important that when you receive your referral you send it to a doctor to have it reviewed. They can determine the severity of any medical issues the child my have and can give a recommendation on whether you should or should not accept the referral. Some countries skew the child's medical info (some make it look worse and some minimize it) and the doctors are educated to the 'norms' of each country. We want to be ready so as soon as we receive referral information we can send it to our doctor.