The lengths I'll go to for a "vacation"

(I wrote this back in late January and never posted it. I can't believe I haven't posted anything since then. Just been too busy. Anyway, there are some pictures at the end of my gallbladder so don't scroll too far down if you don't want to see them.)

I had a little vacation away from home two weeks ago. Thousands of people have their gallbladders taken out, although not all in a somewhat emergency situation, and definitely not in a Third world country. So since hopefully this will never happen again I figured I should write about it so I can remember it. Although an exciting experience for me, probably not that interesting for others to read.

They say that Hindsight is 20/20 and it's definitely true for this situation. I've had a bunch of strange yet worsening symptoms over the past 5 months and looking back it's amazing to see it all tie together. I'm pretty sure my first "hint" if gallbladder issues was when we were in the US this summer. We were on vacation at the beach and I woke up in the middle of the night with what I thought was really bad indigestion  But first the first time ever, my awesome anti-acids did nothing. After about 3 hours it went away and I just sort of thought, "Hum, that's interesting" and figured it was a fluke. Then over the past three months, it started happening more and more. Each time lasting longer and getting more and more painful - and always in the middle of the night. Yet I still just thought it was indigestion/heart burn that had somehow had become "resistant" to medicine. I tried Tums, Pepcid, Zantack, gasX - all of the things that have worked perfectly in the past - and nothing. I just sort of resigned myself that nothing worked on my heartburn anymore. I eventually thought it was just gas getting stuck in my intestine. My gallbladder was inflamed and I could feel it under my right ribs. Me, thinking it was gas would sort of push on it and massage it and try to get it to move down and break up. Looking back it was probably not the best thing to be doing. Each time I'd wake up with an attack, it would eventually go away and I'd forget about it until the next one.

The other crazy symptoms are a bit more embarrassing. But I was having major swings in my digestive system.  Days of constipation to days followed by days of the exact opposite. I was never sick, but food was often going straight through me as if I were. We'd eat at a restaurant and I'd barely (or not) make it home to the bathroom in time. It was weird. But all of this was happening over a few months period and wasn't all of the time. So something weird would happen and then I'd sort of forget about it until the next time.

However, the last month before the surgery it began happening more and more. For the first time in the back of my mind I thought something had to be wrong with me, but I had no idea what it could be. I just tried not to think about it or worry because I figured there was nothing I could do about it anyway.

The second to last attack was the first time I was in truly awful pain. I was up at 3am. It didn't help that I had to substitute at CMIS the next day. I never was able to go back to sleep and the pain never subsided. At about 7:30 was a sitting in the classroom trying not to cry,wondering how in the world I was going to be able to make it though the day -  nevertheless teach like that. Once the students came I was at least a bit distracted and by noon the pain had subsided and I was basically back to normal. Like times before, I just thought it was the worst indigestion ever and just figured I was getting older.

So finally we get to the day of surgery. It was New Years Eve and again, I woke up at 3am. I didn't even try to take anti-acids anymore because I knew they didn't work. I just tried sit up and massage my belly and get the "gas" to move. By 8am I gave up on sleep. It was a day to run (I run every other day) so I ran 3 miles. Looking back that seems crazy. But in my mind I thought that these "attacks" were just something that was going to be normal for me so I couldn't change my life because of them. I got back from the run and I was still hurting. I made the kids pancakes and was REALLY starting to hurt. I at a half of pancake hoping that eating would help the indigestion (it didn't). At this point I just thought I was sick or something. I went up to my room to get away from everyone, thinking it would eventually pass. But it was hurting enough that I couldn't really read or be on the computer. At one point I threw up from the pain (it reminding me of throwing up during labor) and I hoped that would make me better. Again it didn't. So finally, I let my mind start believing something really was wrong. I'm pretty good at not worry about things by just avoiding to think about them. But at this point I knew something just had to be wrong so I let my mind start going through ideas. The first thing I thought of was appendicitis but I quickly knew it couldn't be that because the pain would be lower down in my abdomen. Than, it was literally like a light bulb going off. If I ever have had a "light bulb" moment, this was it. I just though, Oh my gosh, it's my gallbladder!"

I have to say, this whole situation was made so much better by remember my mom having her gallbladder out when I was about 11. Her first gallbladder attack it stitched into my memory because she was in the bathroom thinking she was having a heart attack, telling me to call 911. A kid doesn't forget doing that! I was scared to death. But because of that, I knew how gallbladder attacks worked, how they can come and go, where the gallbladder was located, etc... And most importantly, that it's usually not dangerous. I looked up Gallstone symptoms (even though I mostly knew what they were) and they lined up. I was still not fully convinced, although looking back I was sure, I just didn't want to believe it. I came down and told Damien. "I'm pretty sure I have gallstones." I'm sure it was funny for him since I sort of came out of now where with it.  It was almost noon and I was happy to be able to find my mom on Facebook. She also wasn't convinced (because her experience was different than what I was experiencing). But both she and Damien thought I should go get it checked out. I don't dislike going to the Doctor, but I do dislike going unless I actually need to. If I hadn't actually thought it was gallbladder, I probably still wouldn't have gone. There is nothing worse than going to the Doctor and him saying it was just indigestion. But they convinced me. I just wanted to go to the little hospital up the street and have them give me an ultrasound. Then we could decide what to do if I had gallstones. But Damien REALLY wanted me to go to the best hospital in town in case it was something that needed to be dealt with right way. This was hard for me because going to this hospital mean I'd be more "humbled" if it turned out to be nothing. But I'm glad I listed to him.

So I decided to go alone. We went through other options. If it were Damien, he'd want me there. He does not like to go to the Dr. alone. I however, didn't want to have the kids sitting with me for hours while I waited to see the Doctor. We considered calling friends or a babysitter, but it was New Years Eve. Man, these are times when it would be nice to live around family. So I left. Actually, my biggest worry on the way to the hospital was that the pain would stop and I'd have to decide whether just to go home or to still see the doctor, and embarrass myself by telling him that I was in pain but not anymore. But it didn't stop. One nice things about the medical system here is that you can just go to the hospital and walk in a see a Doctor without an appointment. You don't have to go to the ER. So I registered and then waited. It was a good 45 minutes before I saw him and the pain was definitely getting worse. I was trying so hard not to have that "grimacing" looking my face as I sat there. Labor breathing was starting to come in handy. I finally saw him, explained my pain, he felt my stomach and was like, "It's your gallbladder." He could feel it sticking out because it was so infected and swollen. I hadn't mentioned gallbladder to him, so I was relieved when he was thinking that's what it was.

They got me a wheelchair and sent me to get blood work done. Then I went to ultrasound. All of this took a couple of hours. I was HURTING. As I was waiting for the ultrasound I knew that no matter what happened I wouldn't be able to drive myself home. So I knew it was time to call for help. I called my wonderful friend M. I asked if she could either go watch the kids so Damien could come (he didn't have a car but could take a Songthaew) or if she could come to bring me home when I was done. As soon as I got off of the phone with her I went into the ultrasound and the doctor was like, "Yep, look at all of the stones." So I called M back. They decided she would come and sit with me and her husband R would go wait with Damien until we figured out what was going to happen. Again, I waited another hour to see the doctor so he could go over the Ultrasound and blood work. Ugh. At least once Mel got there I had someone to talk to and distract me a little. But at this point the pain was sort of beyond the ability to be distracted. But having her was such a help. I finally saw the Doctor and he was like, "So, let's do the surgery."  If I didn't know that you do surgery for this kind of thing I might have been shocked. I asked if we could wait a day or two and he said that we really shouldn't because it was so infected. He sent me over to talk to the surgeon who also said we need to do it right away.

So we called Damien and R at the house and told them to come. Things when really fast from here. A lady came and showed me a binder and told me to pick which room I wanted. I thought this was funny. I was going to be on the international floor but there were regular and VIP room that I could choose from. I figured the regular would be just fine. :) We waited a while and finally M asked one of the nurses if they could give me something for the pain. I don't know why, but I just felt bad asking - like I was doing something wrong. But I was so happy to have a friend advocating for me. They took me into a room in the ER (not sure why they did that) and put in an IV. Damien and the kids arrived then. Damien came into the room as they were doing the IV. Then she gave me some sort of amazing drug. I think it was Demerol. Wow, I could still feel the pain a little but I just didn't care. I had told Damien to run and get the kids so I could talk to them before it kicked it but it only took about 10 seconds. Thankfully, I could still talk without slurring and didn't fall asleep. :)  It was actually really nice because it calmed my nerves too. About 5 minutes later they wheeled me up to the OR. I was able to say goodbye to Damien and the kids right outside the room. I had to give him my wedding ring which I didn't like doing. Once they left, they basically wheeled me right into the OR. The Doctors and nurses said, "hi." Asked me one or two questions like if I had had surgery before and if I was allergic to anything. They stretched my arms out to the side (like they do for c-sections) and told me something about how they would intubate me. That scared me more than anything else. I think the idea of having a tube down my throat breathing for me sounds scary. Plus they only do that for "real" surgery so I guess it made it seem more serous. I also really really hoped it would be out by the time I woke up. In the US I would have asked a lot more questions about what was going to happen...but here I didn't feel like I could. Or that they would even understand what I was asking. Anyway, he popped a few different strange looking medications into my IV and I spent the rest of my time praying that God would keep me safe and that if he'd take care of my family if anything happened. I was worried but felt at peace thankfully. And I was out fast.

I had some strange dreams but can't for the life of me remember what they were. The next memory I have was being suddenly awake with a bunch of people talking very loudly at me. I think I did that sort of wake up and try to sit up really fast because I was so confused kind of thing. That was miserable. I can't remember if they asked if it hurt of if I said it hurt, but thankfully they gave me some more pain medication right away because it didn't not feel good at all. I laid there and tried with everything I could not to fall asleep because I did not want to have to experience waking up like that again because it was so miserable. Once my confusion cleared after a minute or so I just felt happy. They didn't kill me! LOL. Sitting there in recovery for 2 hours long and boring. I was so excited to see Damien and the kids and tell them I was ok. After about 1 1/2 hours the lady brought me the jar with my gallstones. They seemed pretty impressed by them and told me they were my souvenirs from Thailand. :) However, once they realized I lived here and could speak Thai they wanted to have a conversation. Wow, speaking Thai is difficult normally, but definitely so when you're on strong pain meds. But we talked for about 30 minutes and it was really nice because it made the time pass by more quickly. I was glad for the company.

Finally they wheeled me up to my room. I was happy when I got in and everyone was already there. I found out that after I went in (which was at about 6pm), they all walked to the mall (the hospital is very close) and ate hamburgers. They came back and the nurses let them go up to the room and wait for me. There was a TV with actual cable channels (some in English) so they could just hang out. I know it was so good for Damien to have R and M with him to help distract him. I didn't really want to stay alone so we decided it would be best for Damien to take the kids home and M to stay with me rather than having M watch the kids and Damien stay. I was so glad to have her there. She helped unplug my IV when I had to go to the bathroom, got me wipes for my face, Vaseline (my lips were so chapped because they wouldn't let me drink water or anything), did a mad dash for a bed pan when I woke up vomiting and there was no way I could walk to the bathroom. She is a true friend. It was new years eve so I felt so bad that she was spending the night in the hospital with me. We were woken up at midnight to the sound of nurses squealing and yelling, "Sa Wat Di Pi Mai" and loud fireworks going off. I was on the 10th floor with an amazing view of the downtown area. It was nice to just sort of lay there and watch the fireworks all over the city.

The next morning Damien came with the kids and we hung out. M and R went and celebrated their anniversary. I was feeling better but was so thankful when M told me she was coming back to sleep with me again. I would have been ok on my own, but it's so nice to have a buddy and not be alone.

The next day was January 2. I went home! It was our anniversary  So I spent New Years Eve, Day and our 14th anniversary in the hospital. Crazy.

I'm so thankful for how it went. I'm glad I went to the hospital when I did. If I had waited much longer it would have gotten increasingly more infected and would have eventually ruptured. I'm thankful for friends that helped me and Damien out. It would have been so much harder without them. I'm thankful that I was never freaked out and just felt that God was in control of whatever happened. I'm thankful for the Internet so that I could look up "vomiting after surgery" and find out that it was normal since I don't really trust the nurses to tell me the truth. I'm thankful for people who have brought dinner and that Damien could stay home for a few days. It's scary when you read about "horror stories" and I'm thankful that I haven't had any scary complications so far. And although it was more dangerous here, now that it's over, I'm glad it didn't happen while we were in the US this summer because it would have been 5x more expensive and it was plenty expensive enough here!

My view from my hospital room at dusk.

These are the stones from inside my gallbladder. The nurses said they were my "souvenirs from Thailand." We had just run a 10K a few days before and my friend was saying, "I can't believe you were running around Chiang Mai with those inside you!"

 Hanging out in my hospital room.

It was nice to have a bed. The TV even had cable. Still, most of the channels were in Thai.

The kids made me cards. It was so sweet. This is Micaiah's picture of me in the bed and him holding my hand.

The outside of the hospital.

The main entrance to the hospital.

And here is the picture of my gallbladder. Can you say "Grooooooossss!?!?!"